viernes, 5 de octubre de 2012

Laura D'Asaro - World's Longest Rap About Dinosaurs

Originaria de Seattle, Laura D'Asaro es una joven estudiante norteamericana que ha realizado el rap más largo del mundo sobre dinosaurios. Consiguió este título honorífico en la web Record Setter, especializada en hacer competiciones de este tipo. En el siguiente video, Laura hace gala de su "flow" y se marca unas rimas dinosaurianas durante cuatro minutos. Algunas como "El dinosaurio con espinas gigantes se llama Spinosaurus / es al menos el doble de tipo duro que Chuck Norris" o "Barney, Piecitos, Rex de Toy Story / incluso los niños pequeños conocen su gloria" van saliendo de su boca como si de una metralleta se tratase. Ahí lo dejo:

¡Respect, Laura! La letra completa es la siguiente:

I used to walk with the dinosaurs. They were to everything to me.
My homies, the heart of my family tree
From Triassic to Jurassic, Cretaceous was the end
185 million years
Now that's a best friend
All of those years
But now its just tears
As I realize everything great one day disappears

So I'm here today to tell their story to you
'Gonna rap, drop a beat, till I'm blue

I hope y'all are ready, I'm about to bring the rhyme,
We 'gonna rock this city like it's the Land Before Time


"I'm sorry in advance, no way to be tactful: there ain't no better thing than a freaking Pterodactyl"

Dinosaurs, hear me roar
I feel your pain
Arraigned, you were slain
Off your home, your terrain
Cut from my heart like you were cut off the food chain
Asteroid hit like a knife on the jugular vein
Stop just a minute
Now, let me explain

"You think an elephant is huge? You think a blue whale is big?
Do *their* wimpy bones take three months to dig?"

The dinosaur with giant spines is called Spinosaurus
He's at least twice as badass as Chuck Norris.

Brontosaurus was heavy as an elephant times 4
Could have single handedly won the first world war

Stegosaurus with Ar-mor plates
And you dare to ask what makes dinosaurs so great?

But they dug up your bones and put them on display
Like you were a lifeless painting done by Monet
A museum's not a home
It's more like a jail
Where people come to point at your long spiky tail
On ALL the continents you used to roam
Now all that's lefts are your fossils in a geodesic dome

Utahraptor Iguanodon Brachiosaurus
With a 1,000 different species
Better grab a thesaurus

But Dinosaurs were misunderstood
Their name means "terrible lizard,"
Fierce gangstas in the hood
But dinosaurs weren't even lizards at all
They were way more savage than those little creatures that crawl.

‎" These prehistoric beasts outclass your granny by far
'Cause *her* bones will never get to power your car!"

And you don't gotta worry about no cops
When you're riding on the back of triceratops

Stegosaurus, Brontosaurus, gentle Trachodon
Velociraptor Triceratops, raptors whereupon

I blink
You're extinct
Overdue now you're through

Sauropods, Theropods, Hadrosaurs, too.
Maybe you're over but I'm not over you

Barney, Little Foot, Rex from toy story,
Even little kids know of your glory

You say your dog can lie, sit down and shake
But can he turn your school bully into Salisbury steak?

Tell your teacher your dog ate your physics homework for class?
Well, 1,000 pounds ah dinosaur will teach him 'bout gravitational mass

Cause if your parent asked you what want for a pet
Any kid would say dinosaur
I'd bet the whole national debt

Tyrannosaurus with bone crushing teeth

He was my homeboy, a fearless soul underneath.

T-Rex, dinosaur, do the creep on the dance floor
Better get down with the Dino gang or you're done for

"I bet Spot and Rover guard your house a bunch
Well, Rex here will eat up any burglars for lunch

And with all the great stuff they say about T-Rex its no wonder your former girlfriend's now your ex

They say birds are the descendents of the dinosaur
But they got too many feather, ain't got the rapport
And all they do is tweet- they can't even roar.
Above all Birds appall
'Cause they're are way too small
Instead I want a beast that could eat the town hall.

In Jurassic Park
There's a reason they used dinosaurs and not birds or sharks.
Dinosaurs are da' bomb ain't no question marks
So here we are at the end
Of this dinosaur rap
Dinosaur, want some more?
Well let me recap
Dinosaurs like cooler than a cold snap
Roar louder than a blasting cap
More vicious than a booby trap
Just watch that Pterodactyl flap

Dilophosaurus to Astrodon
Think you can do better?
I say, bring it on!

El record estuvo originalmente en posesión de Jacob Barry, un chaval de Indiana que se quedó en 3:23 minutos:

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